An Auckland priest who struggled with alcohol addiction before his ordination says his new book on the dangers of pornography comes from a place of empathy, not one of judgement. Fr Robert Steele, who this month marked 25 years of sobriety, has just published A Journey of Hope: Combating Pornography on the Internet, which is described as a Catholic approach to healing and freedom.
Fr Steele said the idea for the book came from his pastoral experience, speaking with men and women who were “quietly suffering from the effects of pornography”. “Their struggles were often hidden, carried with shame and yet deeply damaging to their relationships and faith,” he said. “At the same time, my own journey of recovery from addiction to alcohol gave me a personal lens through which I could see the need for a message of hope. I felt compelled to write a resource that is practical, pastoral and rooted in the love and mercy of Christ.”
Fr Steele, who is currently parish priest at St Patrick’s Pukekohe, said his own experience with alcohol taught him two things: “That no one overcomes addiction alone and that God’s grace can transform even the darkest struggles. “My own journey with sobriety has been powerful. When I speak about pornography, I do so not from theory but from a place of empathy. I know the cycles of shame that accompany addiction. But I also know that honesty, community support and spiritual practices can open the way to freedom.”
His personal experience has also convinced him that those who struggle with pornography must never be judged, but instead offered compassion, encouragement and practical pathways to healing. Fr Steele said all addictions “promise relief or escape, but end up trapping the person in deeper dependence”. They also “narrow life and isolate people from those they love”. In the case of pornography, “its effects, on intimacy, on self-image, on one’s ability to love, are profound”.
Pornography also has the added challenges of easy access online and the fact that it doesn’t have the outward signs of some other addictions like empty bottles or physical withdrawal symptoms. “Unlike alcohol or drugs, which are socially acknowledged as risky, pornography is sometimes even normalised or defended as ‘harmless entertainment’,” Fr Steele explained. “But its impact on relationships, mental health and spirituality is every bit as destructive. And it deserves the same level of serious attention.”
Fr Steele said many of the negative effects of pornography are well-documented – increased violence against women, damage to relationships, distorted views of intimacy – but they are not widely discussed. “This silence makes it harder for people to see pornography as the major social and spiritual issue that it is,” he says, while saying that the Church “has a prophetic voice here”. “At its heart, the Church proclaims the dignity of every human person and the sacredness of human sexuality. Pornography undermines both,” he states. “So, while society may downplay the issue, the Church can call us back to a vision of love that is faithful, life-giving and deeply human.” That can take the form of pastoral accompaniment, support groups and providing spaces for honest conversation. “Above all, the Church can offer the mercy of Christ, who meets us in our weakness and restores us with His grace,” Fr Steele said.
The early responses to the new book have been “very encouraging”, with a particular gratitude that the topic is being addressed through a prism of honesty and hope.“I think people are relieved to see a message that avoids judgement and instead points to healing and new life,” Fr Steele said.
Fr Steele believes the book, which is available on Amazon, can ignite a wider conversation that he says the global Church “needs to have”. “My hope is that the book can reach those who most need it – both those struggling themselves and those who love them,” he said. “Addiction knows no borders, and the wounds caused by pornography are not confined to one country. Through this book, I hope more people discover that healing and hope are possible in Christ.”
The book can also be purchased by emailing Fr Steele at [email protected]
Leave a Reply